1st Mother's Day

What can I say? This was not exactly the first Mother's Day I envisioned for myself. I was supposed to have my brand new baby boy here with me. To snuggle with, hold, kiss, love, enjoy, talk to, make silly faces at, put to bed, and to keep here with me. But instead, I have an empty crib, empty arms, a broken heart, and forced smiles. I just want to be wished a happy Mother's Day from the world around me. But, I know people are afraid to say it. Maybe they don't want to upset me. I don't know. Many people closest to me have sent their sweet motherly wishes. I am so thankful for their caring thoughts, because I am a mom. But, lack of acknowledgment feels as if I don't matter, as if Kaden wasn't real. It deeply saddens me. This day is just another reminder that Kaden is gone. I pictured this day to be the happiest of my life. With everyone so thrilled for my new addition, with me literally on cloud nine, beaming with joy because of my son. 

I know someday I will make this dream a reality. I know I will be able to bring home my second child and truly enjoy my next Mother's Day. I know my loving husband is always there for me. I know Kaden is always there for me too, in spirit. I hope all of the beautiful mothers in my life has a happy Mother's Day today. Hold your sweet little ones a bit closer, give them extra kisses, and cherish every precious minute you have with them. xoxo